1st Tears

I cried at work for the first time. And I'm sure it won't be the last time either. A dear man that I had been caring for for the last couple of days got the results back from a biopsy and found out that he had cancer...again... As we stood there with the man and his wife, watching the tears form in his eyes and seeing her silent tears fall, my heart ached for them both. They have faced this road twice before and are not sure that they can stand to walk it again. There are no right words to say in a time like this. Anything you say feels trite. I fight back the tears, swallowing hard for as long as I can. Then they are falling and there is no stopping them. The three of us share a box of tissues. There are still no words that seem right. Maybe that's okay. Maybe being present and sharing their pain is all that I can do in this moment.

Then I step out into the hallway and prepare to join morning rounds. Life keeps going. There are more patients that need my care and I have to keep going.