Community is an amazing thing. It is something that we all seek and long for as living beings. We all just want to find someplace we belong; be with a group of people that "get us" or with whom we can completely be ourselves. Sometimes it is hard to put one's finger on what exactly is missing or what one is looking for in a community. But when you experience that community, that kula, you know that you have found it. It is the sweet spot of life. As I have evolved and grown over the last couple of years, I made changes in my life that are a lot different from my past. I really like where I am at. I feel like I am finally Me. It's a wonderful feeling; but at the same time, it has become a bit isolating. I feel isolated sometimes because I'm not sure if my relationships, built on the person that I used to be, are ready or able to accept who I am today, who I truly am. And I'm tired of pretending that I am still the person that I used to be. It feels so good to be me that I just can't fake it anymore, so I have pulled back a bit from a lot of my relationships, not sure if they are ready yet. I think I might shock more than a few people in my life if they knew the music and tv shows I like, how colorful my language is, and especially by my spiritual, religious and political opinions. I think that is why I am probably the only parent who isn't sick of hearing "Let It Go" yet. I actually relate to the song so much and feel a bit like it has become my anthem for this year. Lol :D I'm ready to break free and be myself!
As I have begun to be more true to myself and accept myself, I have been surprised with the community I have found. For starters, my husband loves to hear me swear. He says he feels like it's more like Me. It's funny how those closest to you can sometimes see yourself before you even see it. :) Recently, I've had an interesting and engaging conversation with my mother about not fitting in and taking steps to find where one belongs. I thought she would be the most resistant to the prospect of us moving away from family, but instead, she totally understands. It was a great moment. My father and I have bonded over the tv show, The Walking Dead in a way I never expected. I never saw that coming! It's been wonderful. I've also found a fun group of people to talk tv with. This group came together because we all listen to a fun podcast about tv shows called Jay and Jack TV. I've met some really great people through this Jay and Jack group!
Also, I have found a great group of people that are a part of the Yoga with Adriene REBOOT community. Adriene created this Facebook group for those of us who joined the REBOOT 29 day yoga experience that she started this year. It is the most amazing, encouraging and positive group of people that I have ever been a part of. This is where I learned the word "kula", which is Sanskrit for community or clan. Kula describes this group so well. I had an experience this morning where I was finally able to do a yoga move that I have never been able to do before. It isn't that it is a particularly difficult move, it just hurt my vertebrae to do this move. I've tried it from time to time to see if I could do it and I've never been able to do it. This morning that move was in the yoga routine I was following so I decided to try it again. Imagine my delight when I realized I was able to do it without any pain at all! I was so excited and happy about it that I had to do it a few more times after I finished the routine because I was so happy! As soon as I did it, I thought "I can't wait to tell everyone in the REBOOT group about this!" It was so wonderful to share this accomplishment with my yogi friends and to read their encouraging comments throughout the day. To have a group of people to share with and who shared in my joy made me realize how important community is in life.
I am glad that I am finally accepting myself and finding those sweet spots where I can be Me. I will continue to open myself up and have honest conversations with those in my life. I fully realize that some may be accepting and others may not. That is okay. That is their journey, not mine. For now, I am grateful for the kula that I have found and I will continue on my own journey.
(Sidenote: Only 3 more weeks until I am done with nursing school!! You can expect to see lots more from me once I graduate. I didn't think I would get a chance to write until I was finished with school, but I had to write today. What can I say? Writing has gotten into my blood and compels me. :) Also, just a heads up, I will be completing the REBOOT program a 2nd time during the month of June and blogging about the experience along the way. Maybe you want to join me? It's a great program! I'm excited to do it again!)