Letting Go of the Worry About How Others React Feels So Good

Yesterday, my husband and I had a disagreement. He was annoyed at me for something that I did and I felt frustrated that he got annoyed with me because I knew my motivation behind my actions were good. In the past, I would have been more than frustrated, my feelings would have been hurt and it probably would have resulted in a quiet afternoon with hurt feelings. But, instead of reacting only with my emotions, I stopped myself and reminded myself that he is entitled to feel however he wants to feel. They are his emotions and I have no control over how he feels. Once I reminded myself of that, the frustration that I was feeling toward him dissipated. Then a few minutes later when he had got over his annoyance toward me, we were able to talk it through. Then we went on from there to have a wonderful day. This incident was a good lesson for me. I have been learning that I am not responsible for how others react, but I had not had a chance to put my new knowledge into action yet. Yesterday I realized that when I don't try to control how another person is feeling, the situation does not become emotionally charged. This is because I am not expending energy and getting my emotions worked up because of other person's reaction. It was so affirming to see that when I take the time to remind myself that the other person is entitled to feel however they want, that it takes the emotional energy out of the situation. I have wasted a lot of energy in the past worrying about how another person reacts to something. In the future, I hope that I can remember this valuable lesson: I am responsible for my actions and reactions, and for no one else's.