I realized today that if I put as much energy into loving myself and being healthy as I do into self-loathing and guilt, then I would be immensely happy and healthy! So why do I go back to that negative place so often? Why do I obsess about what I eat and feel guilty about it, especially when I know that I really do eat well? Now, I do not always feel this way. When I am feeling normal, I enjoy food. I enjoy planning out our meals, preparing them and eating them. When I feel normal, I love food! But when I am in this place, food is such a burden. Today this question popped into my head and I asked myself: Is it easier to feel guilty about what I ate at the end of the day than to make time to exercise? Yes, it is easier! It is far easier to engage in negative self-talk than to engage in action. But is it the right choice for me? No. It may take less action but the consequences of choosing the "easier" way end up making life harder in the long run.
So today I choose to turn off the negative self-talk when it starts and I choose to exercise this evening.